Teacher: “The Mayans were one of the many ancient civilizations that used hallucinogenics to commune with the gods. In this image, we see-“

Stupid interrupting student: “Actually, I’ve studied the Mayans and drug use. They didn’t use hallucinogenics. They didn’t use LSD. I’ve studied them for a long time, and they used peyote, which, if you can believe it, is made from a cactus. It’s not a hallucinogenic.”

Teacher: “…… right….” 

“Ouch! That sounds terrible! You should go to an ortha-partition for that!”

….

Baseball player: “Yeah…. Tim’s been on a real health kick lately…. We should start calling him Healthy Spice.” 

…. Apparently the male athletes on this campus not only know boy bands from the 90s, they know girl bands too! 

Now that’s what I call well rounded.  

So, today at rehearsal, the strangest thing happened. Lady Gaga showed up. We were rehearsing for my college show, and suddenly, the director called “hold” and told everyone to come and sit in the audience. We of course, got rather worried, because we thought something terrible had happened. Then, once we were all in our seats, the director stood up and said “All right. We have a rather interesting situation. We have a very special guest coming to look at the theatre space. So, I’m going to need you all to be very quiet, and respectful. It shouldn’t take long. Everyone….. Lady Gaga is here.”

…..

Of course, we were all dumbstruck, and didn’t really believe her. But then, 10 seconds later, when Lady Gaga herself walked through the doors, we doubted no longer. She came in with her entire creative team, because they were looking at using the theatre space for a music video. So she walked around for a minute or two, and was talking about what she wanted in the music video. Then, when she left, she told us how sorry she was for bothering us, and how great it was that we were all pursuing our dreams.

And then she was gone.

And that was the day Lady Gaga came to rehearsal.  

“Yeah…. Make sure you don’t eat sushi when it’s warm though! You’ll get sick and die!”

…..

Sometimes I wonder how people got into college. 

Sneaky picture…. And in case you were wondering…. No…. No one became a millionaire. 

Yesterday morning, the lovely Sara, Denali, Ali and I all went to be in the studio audience for “Who Wants To be a Millionaire”!!! We were definitely the youngest people there. We were literally the ONLY people under the age or 27 or so. It was very odd. And we were definitely the only girls under the age or 35. Well, anyway, we all got up at 6:30 am to grab breakfast, and then get to the 7:40 shuttle. We were are dressed nicely, looked pretty shnazzy, and everything went off without a hitch.  We took the ferry, then the subway, and arrived right on time to the studio! So, we walked all the way around the block, right smack dab into the middle of a HUGE line!  It turned out that those were all the people who take the test to see if they qualify to compete on the show. They take the test, and then stay for the taping for the rest of the day. Then you find out if you got on at the end of the last taping.  

When we checked in, they gave us some green tickets, and told us that if we wanted to take the test we could, or if we didn’t, we could just come back at 10. So, we went and grabbed coffee, and came back. They took the four of us in through a side door, where we went through a metal detector. Then, they took us up some stairs, where right at the top there was a giant sign that had a disclaimer that said “If you pass this point, you are giving your consent to be filmed!”

This was when I noticed something odd. Outside, there were still a lot of people waiting who had gotten there before us. The only differences were 1.We had green tickets, and they had yellow…. Strange…. And 2.We were all much younger than they were.

Anyway, they were still walking us around the set, so we could get to our seats. Then a woman came out with a clip board, and said “Alright! You are all companions of the competitors today! We just need you to sign these waiver forms!”  The four of us were rather surprised, and said “Oh, we’re not. We’re just audience members!” then the woman looked us up and down, and said “let me see your tickets.”  We showed them to her, and then she nodded and went “Ah yes. You don’t have to fill out paperwork. Just stay with this group”. We of course were very confused, but did what she wanted.  Then they took us all in, and sat everyone in their seats. These two stage-hands took us up to these seats way in the back, and then they said “Just sit tight for a minute. We’re going to move you down to the front.” It was just as we suspected. The tv industry is really shallow, and prefers to shows teenage girls, to middleaged men. I know this is a shocking revelation.

Then, they took all four of us down to the first two rows, and sat us right around where all the contestant’s family and friends sat.  Every now and then they’d shuffle us around, so we weren’t always sitting in the exact same places, but we always sat right around the families. So then for the next few hours, we made friends with the stage hands! We talked to one of them for a while, and he seemed very surprised that we were there just for fun, and not to try and get on the show! He was very nice, and talked in Spanish to Sara, and did a pirouette for me! He was extremely cool.

After the show, (which was really fun) as we were walking out, the stage hand ran up to us and asked us for our names! He said that we were good audience members, and that they wanted us to come back. And, he told us that we definitely should try to get on the show, because they’re always looking for college students. And we were the only ones he talked too! WE FELT SUPER LEGIT.

Then we ran home, and did college things for the rest of the day.  

SO, look for us on Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire! We’re DEFINITELY on camera. They’re supposed to air the 14^th of November, and the 19^th and 20^th of April.  We’re also going to go back and take the test, just to see what happens. Why not, right? 

SO, I have just returned from a venture of vintage shopping. It was really great, and all kinds of fun! We found some really nice stores, that were actually decently priced! It’s amazing! We also walked all over the lower east side, and now I’m fairly certain my feet are going to fall off. I’m looking down at them now, and they appear to be in a state of near death, so if the next time you see me, I only have stubs for feet, you know what happened… 

In our venture around the lower east side, Sara and I discovered several interesting things. 

1.  The lower east side is infested with hipsters. Seriously, it’s worse than SoHo. I know that you’re deep, and love poetry, and poop raybans and typewriters, but seriously… Don’t wear see-through shirts. I don’t want to see your man nipples. 

2. The lower east side is also filled with “adult” stores. I don’t know what’s in the air there, but apparently  whatever it is, it’s sexy.

3. Next time I have to get glasses, I’m going there. There’s a store where you can buy vintage frames, and then get prescription lenses put in them! YES PLEASE. 

4. There is a vintage store called Narnia. It’s horribly overpriced, but it’s still pretty cool! Plus, now I can officially say I’ve been to Narnia. That alone was worth having stubs for feet.

Now, I must depart. DOCTOR WHO IS ABOUT TO START! 

I am in Pottermore. 

IN.